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This is by far....THE BEST EXPLANATION OF NO CONTACT IVE EVER HEARD HANDS DOWN!!! Where the hell was this video 2 years ago?!! Hell im glad i clicked this video! This was broken down like a science is lamen simple terms so easy a teenager could understand. Damn!...... i had to watch this 5 times b/c it was that good!! New subscriber!!

What if you blocked their number ?

I really needed this right now. Thank you.

Why is anyone wanting to get BACK with someone who "villified" them? Makes no sense. As a man you need to learn to accept such a breakup as a blessing, because clearly you picked the wrong woman.

How can you do no contact with kids involved?

I have been trying to get back my ex for 4 months- she is the love of my life. l met her in church Sun we held hands & kissed. Two days later l get knock on my door - 3 police officers served me with an order of protection. I was devastated- we went to court told judge we were together and l loved her & still do but l will do whatever she wants. Outside courtroom l told her l gave you with u want- l’m sorry we couldn’t work it out and l wanted to spend my life with you. She couldn’t even looked me in the eye. Yet lm still hoping she comes back to me- hard to do cause there is a restraining order against me unless she drops it. Devastated it was one of the worst day of my life yet l still love her & would take her back.

So much shaming here of "The Borderline". Instead of advising people how to deal with breakups by playing distancing games, would it be more helpful to ask people why they are addicted to being in relationship with a person who has BPD?

Ive been begging my ex after 3 months of no contact and she told me she's with someone else and told me she would never be back and never talk to me and the disrespect is alot to the extend that her friend insulted me to that i would never get her back again. So ive started another no contact journey and i think im feeling better and better everyday. So i hope i get her back

I'm definitely not interested in someone like that if they slept with someone else because the entire time never was sexual with me whoever that was because nobody else has been with me in that way for 18 years. And I'm certainly not sexually interested in somebody that's with somebody else like that. Not in my account like that. Person is sleeping with somebody else hell na they're not my partner I don't even want in my account like that. THE PERSON LIKE THAT KEEP AWAY FROM ME LIKE THAT.

I blocked her because i dont want to wish or anticipate a text. Im moving on.

Best video I found on this subject. Thanks mate

I caused the break up for sure, but she asked for no contact so I’m struggling trying to respect her boundaries. I just want to fight for what I want

Man.. this is soooo precise!

Well, exactly what I am going through right now. So painful.

*Sweet Video, thank you very much!*

I'm not doing no contact because someone ended a relationship with me, I'm doing it to get respect and an apology from someone. I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do though? I tried using words at first but they fell on deaf ears. He was stalking my socials for a while but seems to have stopped now. I'm not sure if he knows that all it would take would be a simple apology and I'd take him back...

Thank you, Ken. Thank you.

Tell yourself they will never reach out and if they do, than decide if you want them. DO NOT REACH OUT. stay strong.

Coach Ken, you are amazing. Thank you!

Thank you, Coach Ken! The level of empathy and precise understanding that you display in helping so many people is extraordinary. Your style, examples, and analogies, stick. I messed this one up bad, regret it, and haven't been able to properly apologize and show understanding for how I made HER feel. That being said, the bottom line is she made a clean break/no contact, and this talk is really helping me to not reach out trying any of those 3P's.

So.... all you 🤡🤡🤡 click on the video just to say you wouldn't take her back a true definition of a 🤡

Where’s the discord?

Thanks for the video which is so right and supportive. After 40 years I am moving on and starting to live and breathe again.

I've watched this video many times. My BPD is doing exactly what you are saying. She just reached out to a family member that we both were close to. Along with a close friend of mine in the same day. So do I stay in no contact until she reaches out to me? And what do I tell those she reaches out to say to her?

Coach Ken, my ex came back but insisted that we're not exclusive. She then saw a girl call my cell and now shes passive aggressive, ignored my text to meet up. It's not fair how entitled shes acting. I pushed to meet and talk and she ignored me.. what does this mean for me? I tried to show her i still cared about her. She took a day to respond. I got a little pissy about the disrespect and now she ignored me.. she knows in on the hook now and i look unattractive

How do you handle "no contact" when you still live together and co parenting your kids? You're both there for the kids, one (me) wants to be with the other (him) the other has said "i don't want to be with you anymore i will always love you " but he stays and then gives mixed signals showing he does care. That gives me mixed feelings and instead of being spiteful and stubborn, i forgive/forget and seem to do the "denial" thing in hopes to keep things going positively. I am almost always willing to do whatever he wants to do, i go off of his Mood and the way he acts towards me. I realize how all of this sounds and honestly it doesn't even sit well saying all of this. TBH it feels as though i am belittling myself. After watching this amd seeing the comments i figured i could be open and letting myself be vulnerable is something i don't just openly do, most of the time anyway. im hoping to get some advice or feedback to help me by sharing this. Is there a way to turn my feelings off being in this situation? He seems to know how to do that. How can i truly be happy when my needs/wants aren't getting met anymore by this man. I've told him in several occasions what is missing and what i need from him. To date, nothing has changed, i get no response, no reaction. Its like talking to a wall and life keeps on going. Ugh! Help...... please....... anything will do at this point. I would be incredibly grateful. What should i do or not do, it would be so helpful and definitely boost my confidence just to know how others have dealt with similar situations.

I am borderline (quiet, high functional) and while I did contribute my share of dysfunction in relationship (that since ended) I was in fact the one getting abused (gaslighting). Currently, I have no issues not reaching out, but I am being hoovered constantly. However, I don't have self respect not to answer, becasue I am still attached. And it breaks me every time. On some weird masochistic level I am sure I am actually enjoying this, it's all I've known. I am sorry for all victims of abuse. My mother is also borderline, that is where I got it from and the psychological damage done is immesurabe. I wish everyone - with bpd or getting abused by us to be able to heal from this and move on with our lives.

To all the realists….no contact is attempted to get the ex back. This working on yourself is gaslighting to yourself. Working on yourself is a side effect or benefit but people are seeking restoration.

I texted divorce papers

If my ex is with someone else..should I write that short letter ie;"I'm sorry that it cost me this relationship, I'm sorry I did not see this sooner .etc ... Or should I not compete, sit back and wait .? When we broke up 3 weeks ago I sent her a short text telling her im sorry and ashamed for not being there when I should of .. Should I not reach out with that one letter you mentioned or stay in radio silence since I reached out 3 eeeks ago already

I will never take her back unless she got on her knees and purposed to me. Thanks for all the wisdom.

I broke up with him because he violated my principles. I was deeply in love with him. I held the relationship together so there was no fight to keep it together when I left. I still love him, it was abusive that why he can’t come back and that hurts. I am gently moving on.

Can someone explain to me like im a 10 yo? I didnt understand the english

I hate to break it to you love birds, but most people do not come back. They move on to something better for them or stay single a long time, and even if they miss you, ego controls most people and they won’t want to admit their mistakes. No contact is for YOU to move on, heal, and meet someone better for you. Don’t wait on anyone. Move on with your new lessons.

I dont know anyone who got someone back. I heard about it. It hasnt happened to me. Im starting to believe coaches are blowing smoke.

I am a figment of his imagination. 💭

98 days .but he normally messages me before hand. . My intuition tells me to wait..am I wrong?

I’m 52, I wasn’t diagnosed with ADD, till a few years ago. I’m finally understanding so many things I do and have done since I was a kid. With dyslexia I wasn’t able to read will till I was much older then my peers. 👉can anyone help with this, Question? How does someone know if their falling (In love.) for someone or if it’s just a temporary dopamine high? 😢

I dated this girl almost 3 months. I fell for her everything click I never had that in my life. All thr sudden it's a switch turn, she went distant broke my heart. 2 months later she came back it felt like nothing changed about 2 week's the switch turned again. I was soooo good to her we never argue but she two separated getting divorced. She told me she don't want hurt me is why she's letting me go and sorry she lead me on. I talked her on thr phone also told me she has feels for me and she had feelings for another guy she dated in that 2 month's we didn't talk. Broke my heart! This happened 2 weeks ago I haven't text her in a week and half. Man life sucks. I been listening to your stuff and it's help me a lot when I think I should text or send flowers. But I think I made thing's ran into a friend of that guy she said she likes and told him we been hanging out. Showed proof on my phone. I'm so mad at myself for doing that.

i did slap the dog ahah

They're not coming back. I say that because it sounds like that usually works. But. They're still not back so I guess it didn't work. Hmmm. But yea. It's tough trying to disconnect. It's something that I'm going through right now. It's been over a year and it's suddenly hitting me that I just want to forget.

Great video and insight. Thank you

It does work have more confidence yourself.

Thanks Ken the flow of your argument was seamless and convincing.Cheers!

She is with my neighbor and laughs at me every day and is very cruel about it like im a nothing I believe she seeing daily is just helping her and I don't go looking for anything...she just waits to see me then it happens

We were together for 2 years. We were about to move in… But she complained I didn’t have enough money saved. I always struggled with money. My job cut my hours but I feel like it’s my fault. I wasn’t the best boyfriend and I had a bad temper and I can’t stop beating myself up. Now I feel like I pushed her away and she removed me from the lease and moved into our apartment without me and immediately signed up for dating apps… I’m devastated… I feel completely replaced. Her family never liked me, and said I’m never going to be able to provide for her. I can’t help but feel they are happy she left me. I feel tossed away like trash.

Thanks. We need more no contact encouragement videos. This was helpful. It gets more challenging after week 6...

They didn't trust that I was truthful. They know now

"Works more often than people realise." Maybe for you guys. But hey I suppose I'm talking myself out of confidence. No body really knows. It still feels that it doesn't work in a way I can't describe.

This hit me hard. Recently went through a breakup because of some minor infertility, on her part.. we’re slowly working things out again and watching this video made me realize how weak and insecure. I’ve actually presented myself as. All definitely need to be more disciplined and set better boundaries and standards this time around. I truly want things to work again which I do because I love her dearly, but I don’t want the same problems to happen again. Thank you for this coach.